Is There a Doctor In The House?

He kissed my bare bottom. His name was Kenny. He had brown hair and red freckles, carried a stethoscope and a brand new pack of Smurf Band-Aids. My first sexual encounter with role-play, I experienced at the tender age of nine. I've had quite a thing for doctors ever since.

I believe that we all have our first sexual awakening through the guise of role-playing when we are just young kids. As we grow up, we become more sexual and less imaginative, although some of us do manage to keep both as equal bedfellows. For instance, I’ve always secretly thought that trekkies and people into science fiction, war games, video games, fantasy and pretty much anything else considered “nerdy”, must be very hard to keep up with in the bedroom. Just imagine the scenarios, story lines and characters they must come up with! There are also people who are just plain kinky and weird when it comes to role-play. We all know someone who has had a partner ask them to do some pretty weird stuff during sex. Or at least we say it is someone else when we tell the story because we don’t want anyone to know that it actually happened to us. I have a friend who once dated a guy who was into wearing women's panty hose. Apparently he would tear a hole in the crotch, put on a pair of heels and… that’s just around the spot where the story ends because I wasn’t about to let her tell me any more.

Obviously what floats some boats doesn't do it for all folks. While I consider myself a very imaginative person, I can't say I've partaken in a great deal of role-play, nothing out of the ordinary anyway. I do however, keep all my Halloween costumes, just in case I need them in the future, for some unforeseen reason. Role-playing can be both fun and healthy. I believe that men and women have an equal footing regarding role-play. While we may have a lot of different sexual preferences, I think that both sexes generally share the same sexual fantasies, excluding of course, the one that has you, your gal and her best friend rolling around in a vat of yellow Jello. Sorry guys, this one is yours alone. Both sexes however, equally want to either dominate or be dominated during sex, which is really what role-playing is all about isn’t it? Now, go get on your spandex Tarzan costume and I’ll try to find my grass skirt, lei and coconuts. You'll just have to figure out what game it is that I prefer to play….written by Brooke Mullins



As I lay on the bed in a Cowardly Lion costume with my tamer standing above me, I soon realized that this was probably not the vision that L. Frank Baum had when he wrote the Wizard of Oz. In fact, this probably would have been interesting if we hadn’t been laughing like Hyenas at the silliness we had created.

I’ve always found that role playing is a tremendous waste of effort and honestly, not very fun. If I’m going to put that much time into doing something, I prefer to inject some romance into my relationship. I’ll make a nice dinner while mixing in some candles and massages. Role playing is a very delicate operation. It requires planning – which by its very nature I find unromantic. Then it requires participation, which is always a tricky issue considering where we may find ourselves mentally and emotionally at any given time. When the perfect storm comes together – sure it can be a fleeting thrill – but all the effort is rarely matched with the intensity and intimacy that is craved for in a satisfying romantic evening.

It can be enjoyable and exciting to step outside yourself sometimes and play out some control and power fantasies through role playing. I’ve just always found it to be more satisfying to simply communicate effectively and leave the costumes in the closet.

So what makes us want to fulfill our partners’ desire to not be ourselves for the evening? I think it’s just another example of trying to please each other while not looking at what we need ourselves. As hard as you might try, you can’t be someone else. It has nothing to do with creativity. In fact, given all the effort and planning - it’s not creative at all. You want role playing?? Try playing the girl we fell for in the first place. We are with you for a reason and it’s not so you can play a lion and make us tame you. That’s just silly and completely unnecessary. When I am feeling romantic and wanting to have hot, passionate sex – I don’t want to have to remember my lines or need cue cards.

Now, I do realize the joy that can come from role playing and it has been a fun, yet fleeting thrill for me before – but when it’s all said and done, it’s the same girl I end up in bed with no matter how we got there. So put away the mailwoman costume and the leash because this dog isn’t biting... written by Andrew Jensen

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Nothing But a Big Faker

I don’t know if you know this, but there is a rumor going around that some men fake orgasms. Crazy isn’t it! Why would a guy need to this? If he’s not into “doing it”, I think it's pretty self-explanatory. Boy, don’t even bother looking at me with love in your eyes and no bulge in your pants. Still, there are guys who claim that they have indeed faked it, which if you think about it, might actually be a brilliant trick. If you told me that I didn’t make you come, I’m bloody well going to make it my mission to do so. Of course, first you’d have to help me up off the ground, where I will have collapsed in a heap of hysterical laughter. Guys faking it, what will they think of next!

Now on the other hand, we all know that women fake it. Every woman that I know can recall a handful of times when she has put forth more effort into the act of pretending that she was enjoying herself then actually trying to enjoy herself. Although the reasons may differ, like “I was tired”, “He was taking too long”, or “I was afraid I was going to miss CSI”, each woman was politely saying that her guy wasn’t performing well. While I myself have had lots of opportunities to fake, I’ve honestly never done so, simply because I’m not that nice of a girl. Seriously, be thankful that your girl does fake it. Would you really want to know the truth? When I said a handful of times, I meant a handful of times with each partner.

Every woman has been there, wanting the act to just be over so that she could get on with whatever it was that was preoccupying her attention at the time. Fatigue, hunger, stress, resentment and pain are all common things that can bump an orgasm off of one’s priority list and make a girl want to abandon her body if it will get her out of there. I have found myself in one or more of these situations. Sure, I could have “oh, oh, oh”’d my way out from between the sheets. But while I have wanted a partner to bloody well hurry up, I encourage it in a different way, by using sexual words like, "I want you to come for me now baby." Yes fellas, this is why we ladies say this. It’s not because your coming is such a turn on to us, but rather because you are taking forever and we want you to get off of us A.S.A.P. If this technique doesn’t work, there’s always the line "If you don’t come now, you’re not coming at all", (just kidding)…(okay I’m not kidding). Whatever way you say it, personally, I'd rather go the verbal route than attempting my best Meg Ryan impersonation.

The real reason I’m no faker is that I am comfortable with not always having an orgasm during sex. Honest! I'm totally fine with it because I know that a lot of it has to do with my mental mindset and some days I have not the physical nor mental energy to invest in an orgasm. Some days I’m certain that I don’t even have a pulse! It’s not necessarily my partner’s fault and it doesn’t mean I’m not still having a great time. Just remember, to keep a partner’s pride intact faking it may be the answer, but if we all spoke up a little more, there would be a whole lot less pretending....written by Brooke Mullins



The deep breathing, the squealing, the panting. Her vice pulls me in, her grip relentless, her legs shake and quake. Her body pulses. Her eyes roll to the back of her head. She screams in ecstasy. She calls out my name and throws pillows halfway across the room. Her whole body tenses up, then blows a gasket, then deflates to putty. As I collapse next to her, my fragile mental state leads me to ask the question many men before me have asked in their own mind. Namely, “How could Eckersley throw a backdoor slider with a 3-2 count to a badly hobbled Kirk Gibson in the ninth inning of the ’88 World Series?”

Truth be told, that’s the extent of how much I think about whether my most recent lover has faked an orgasm. It’s not that I don’t care whether I rocked her world, or moved mountains – it’s just that I’ve always been a firm believer that the orgasm is not the pinnacle of sexual pleasure.

We all want to please each other and have that feeling like we were the first and only to make our partners lose their minds. And I’m sure lots of guys have had that moment when they wondered whether “she faked it, or not?” It makes sense. But, I don’t worry about these things. It’s not a concern for me. I’m not saying it hasn’t happened to me. It probably has. And sometimes when my rhythm picks up, I observe a look that tells me there’s a traffic jam ahead. This is when I’ve always chosen to focus on shifting gears and working my way round traffic rather than plowing through it. Sometimes finding that alternative route to get around the traffic turns out to be the best achievement of all. Focusing on the pleasure and not the finish line is the easiest way to please any woman I’ve been with.

With that said, there are still plenty of folks who rack their brains trying to understand if and when a partner has faked an orgasm. I have more important things on my mind, like “Why didn’t he just throw an off-speed pitch and get him to chase ball four out of the zone."....written by Andrew Jensen

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Talk Dirty To Me!

My number rule when it comes to my sex life is that you cannot repeat what I say to you while we are screwing. I don’t care if you tell your friends where we did it or what position we were in. But you are never to mention the actual words that left my mouth to anyone . . . including me. The reason behind this rule is that I have a very dirty mouth. And once we get going there are things that I might ask you to do to me that can get me arrested in several states.

Dirty talk is essential to sex with me. There is no way that two people can have a good ole sweaty raunchy time in complete silence. (Unless you’re deaf and/or mute. I guess signing dirty talk is a little too much to ask. Your hands are busy enough.) Maybe it’s because having lived with men for most of my life, I’ve realized that’s the only time I can get you to actually listen to me. (Oh ride me . . . that feels so good . . . don’t forget to pick up the dry cleaning . . . harder . . . and your mother’s birthday is Friday . . .faster . . . the car needs a tune-up . . . oh yeah!!)

During sex is when we can talk about our deepest fantasies without being embarrassed or shy. What you will and won’t take is as personal as what turns you on. For me, anything that starts with “Pretend you’re my mommy” is a definite deal-breaker. Other than that, let’s see where the night takes us. But please remember that what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. The way I respond to someone calling me a “dirty slut” if I were naked has nothing to do with what I might say if it happened in the grocery store. And I’ve been kicked out of a lot of grocery stores....written by P.S. Jones



Vocal sex... loud, filthy, dirty vocal sex!!! Does that make you hotter? Can it make your climax more intense? The answer is yes and no... Sometimes hot, dirty talk during fornication can put my mind into a whirl and intensify my orgasm beyond my wildest expectations... but what if she says the wrong thing? Can she take you out of your game in mid-thrust? And what about us guys? Your women may say she likes dirty talk; so you pour it on with all the seedy, smarmy, filthy sex talk you can muster... suddenly she stops... you scared her right out of the mood!!!!!!! It's a disaster! I have lived through both of these scenarios.

I really love it when a woman knows my hot buttons and delivers the vocals to intensify the physical stimulation. This is not something that happens spontaneously on a one-night wonder... unless you are very lucky. The rule of thumb is to "Know Your Subject!" Don't surprise polly purebred with a slew of expletives that make her hair curl and turn her frigid.

I remember once I had finally got this woman I was hot for to go to bed, and everything was great. The usual sounds of ooohs! aaahs! In the midst of thrusting her to a climax, she gets into the "exorcist" mode and begins to scream, "That's it, Fuck Mommy! Give it to Mommy!... It got worse from there. I shrunk so fast I almost lost the condom in the throes of her climax. Somehow, the thought of my mother anywhere in the same zip code as me having sex took me right out of the game.

Talking dirty is a perilous double edged sword... If you say the right things, it can ramp up the heat and intensify the orgasms. If you say the wrong thing, it can bring the entire crescendo down to a crashing halt. I love it when the right words are said... The important thing is to know who you are talking dirty to. If you aren't sure that talking dirty gets her hot, I would restrict it to the standard. If you know that a vocal stroll through the sewer will turn her on... have at it, and deliver so much filth that you have to wash your mouth out with soap when you are done....written by Cliff Hodges

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The Legend of Goldie-cocks

I once had sex with a man and didn’t know it. No, I wasn’t drugged and raped. I was in the middle of naked cuddling that turned to naked kissing, which led to naked grinding. After a few moments, he let out a moan and then apologized for cumming so fast. I was speechless. I had no idea he was even inside me! Later, as my friends grilled me on the status of our relationship, they asked me if we’d slept together. My answer was “He says we have, but I don’t know if I believe him.”

As a woman who’s received more than her share of small penises, I have to tell you that all those men’s magazines you’ve been reading are wrong. Me telling a man that penis size doesn’t matter is like telling a flat-chested woman that boobs don’t matter. Of course, boobs matter. The entire world is run on boobs! But let’s say that you met a woman who was super sexy, smart, funny, caring, a great cook and loved football . . . with no tits. Unless you’re a moron, you’d never let her go. But you’d probably spend the rest of your life staring at any chest you met. Women feel the same way about your penis.

Size DOES matter . . . just not as much as you think it does. We are definitely fascinated with humungous dicks in much the same way you’re fascinated by Pam Anderson. But do we really need all those inches? Probably not. But nobody wants to have to bring a magnifying glass to bed with them, either. Call me Goldie-cocks if you must, but I think I represent most women when I say that I want it to be “not too big, not too small, but just right.” A decent sized member teamed up with a fair knowledge of how to use it is perfect. In my experience, the person who cares most about your penis is you. You’re the one secretly checking out those enhancement ads that show up in your email and comparing yourself to the guys in the pornos. You want a healthy sex life? Stop letting your dick distract you and start paying attention to what I need. Unless yours really is the size of a cocktail weenie. In that case, I’ll go half with you on the penis pump....written by P.S. Jones



Does size matter? All of us guys who were not blessed with "stuff strutting size" hope that the answer to this question is NO... but I think not. Even as a young 18 year-old, I used to say, "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog!". Then one day, a woman looked at me and replied, "Well, you better have something to work with!" At that point all the fears, insecurities, apprehensions, and nightmares descended.

How big am I? Am I at least average? Unless you are hung like a porno star, I think every guy has these fears. I have had girlfriends who have told me they love my dick because it “fits right.", but I've always wondered if that is a nice way of telling me I am small. I feel the three most devastating words a woman can ever say to a guy is, “Is it in?" I have spent hundreds of dollars on pills to add length and girth to my endowment, but while my wallet shrinks, my penis has not grown a millimeter. I have heard the saying that "size does not matter", and the average guy is 5 1/2 to 6 1/2 inches when erect... They just don't get jobs in porno movies. All the logic and statistics in the world do not ease the insecurities when I have friends who are reputed to be enormously blessed, and I see women approach them simply because they want a test drive.

So does size matter??? OF COURSE IT DOES... especially if you are BIG! Fortunately, I’ve never had anyone complain, and God has blessed me with more hotter women than my charm, looks, and wit justify.

Here is my theory on penis size. Like every other sexual option, all women are different. There are a few who really want a big penis, some that enjoy a smaller penis, and others who don't have a strong preference either way. Some women simply like the experience and the intimacy, and the size of the dog is less important. The good thing about being insecure about my size is that it forces me to "try harder" to please. That means lots of foreplay, tons of oral, vibrating toys, and finally, when she calls for it... penetration... which usually delivers the desired climax and overwhelming waves of ecstasy... on a good day!

Yes, it would be nice to have an endowment bigger than a Harvard trust fund. Imagine the confidence that gives you if you are anatomically blessed. But if you are average or smaller - accept the fact and simply try harder... by the time you put it in, she will be able to go off with anything bigger than your pinkie finger. And let's face it... if you can deliver an earth moving climax... you won't have to answer to the "cruel reality" of the tape measure....written by Cliff Hodges

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Position Play

What’s the big deal about positions? I don’t get it. To me when someone says “lets try something new”, they are actually saying “I’d like to try someone new.” I don’t understand the need for the Karma Sutra; it’s about the partner not the position. Not to say there aren’t a lot of fun positions, only that it takes a special man to enjoy special positions with this girl. By “special”, I don’t mean a partner that is really attractive or good in bed. Special to me, is a partner who makes me feel comfortable, respected and safe while in bed with them.

Everyone has hang ups in the bedroom and I am no different. Who wants their boobs flopping all over the place? Who wants unwanted or unavailable curves emphasized during sex? Not me. For women, the way we feel about ourselves plays a significant role in our behavior in the bedroom and hence how crazy kinky we are going to get.

While missionary is a safe and loving position, a lot of people think it’s dull and unimaginative. I think most of us, unless we are very drunk, tend to still choose this position for our first sexual encounter with a new partner, and so it shouldn’t be discounted. Woman on top is what I consider to be a confident or spotlight position, which sucks for the self-conscious because it’s also one of the more pleasurable ones. In this position, a woman not only controls the rhythm but can also grind her pelvis into her partner’s groin, for additional pleasure. A lot of women avoid it like the plague though. I have one friend who has the rule that when she’s on top, her guy’s eyes are shut. Sounds like a whole lot of fun to me.

If there is talk of sexual positions, there needs to be reliable communication. Nothing is sexier to me than knowing I am on the same page as my partner. Tell me that my body is beautiful and that I would look amazing in a particular position, and I will bend myself into a pretzel for you. Flattery will help any woman find the confidence she may be lacking; it’s that simple. Communication also allows my partner and I to address power issues which can be fun. The issue of power is not relevant in all relationships, however there are men and women who find power play an incredible turn on and like to engage in sexually dominating or passive positions during sex. While I may be cool in one position with a steady partner, a new partner doesn’t have a chance of succeeding. While there’s nothing wrong with taking the initiative, I like men to do so in the bedroom. Please remember that it takes two to tango and we both need to know the steps. Oh, and don’t go over board! Men watch way too much porn; the proof is in the position. Why is it that men want to change positions numerous times? They obviously don't realize how hard it is for most women to reach an orgasm, especially when being thrown around like a rag doll. If you want to mix it up guys, throw some oral sex in for flavor. I believe they still perform it in porn.

There is no doubt that positions play a roll in determining the pleasure ratio both physically and physiologically. I’m up to having fun and trying new things. Just remember, I come equipped not only with an erogenous zone but a comfort zone as well....written by Brooke Mullins



To my (straight) male friends reading: Isn't it cool to be having sex missionary with a woman and be able to whisper into her ear, "Wrap your legs around me," while you stand up, grab her ass and leave her suspended in the air? I find it fun, and as a bonus, if there is a mirror in front of me I can get a great view from behind of my partner. I get a huge ego boost knowing that I can support her and for an extended period of time. She gets added clitoral stimulation from the up and down motion of me lifting her. But the best part of this is the power and virility I feel, as a man, flaunting my strength in such a way. The thought process is something like, "If I can keep this stuff up, she'll continue to stay in ecstasy." Whether this actually happens or not, is beyond me.

From my personal confession above, we can see a lot about the necessity of positions. I think that positions are a great way to ease boredom, find new tastes and discover what you like and don't like. We can find positions that complement our individual personalities and show off our desirable traits (like looking at the well corded back muscles of your partner while doing it doggy style--you can never get that from missionary).

It's a double edge sword with this kind of thing. You have to try out new stuff to keep it fresh--imagine if we can periodically change our job, cars or family. On the flip, if something isn't broke, don't fix it (which is something all guys tend to do in every area of life). Sometimes I try weird stuff simply because I can. Plus, I think if I change it up a bit in bed, I might actually impress a woman and she'll want to have more sex.

All in all, I enjoy trying a plethora of positions. Part of it is because I can, and that I hope to impress the women I'm with. There's the stimulation from each, but I think experimenting becomes more fun than the pleasure derived from the actual outcome. It’s not necessarily the amount of positions you try, but the quality of the person you're having sex with....written by Peter Baker

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