Position Play

What’s the big deal about positions? I don’t get it. To me when someone says “lets try something new”, they are actually saying “I’d like to try someone new.” I don’t understand the need for the Karma Sutra; it’s about the partner not the position. Not to say there aren’t a lot of fun positions, only that it takes a special man to enjoy special positions with this girl. By “special”, I don’t mean a partner that is really attractive or good in bed. Special to me, is a partner who makes me feel comfortable, respected and safe while in bed with them.

Everyone has hang ups in the bedroom and I am no different. Who wants their boobs flopping all over the place? Who wants unwanted or unavailable curves emphasized during sex? Not me. For women, the way we feel about ourselves plays a significant role in our behavior in the bedroom and hence how crazy kinky we are going to get.

While missionary is a safe and loving position, a lot of people think it’s dull and unimaginative. I think most of us, unless we are very drunk, tend to still choose this position for our first sexual encounter with a new partner, and so it shouldn’t be discounted. Woman on top is what I consider to be a confident or spotlight position, which sucks for the self-conscious because it’s also one of the more pleasurable ones. In this position, a woman not only controls the rhythm but can also grind her pelvis into her partner’s groin, for additional pleasure. A lot of women avoid it like the plague though. I have one friend who has the rule that when she’s on top, her guy’s eyes are shut. Sounds like a whole lot of fun to me.

If there is talk of sexual positions, there needs to be reliable communication. Nothing is sexier to me than knowing I am on the same page as my partner. Tell me that my body is beautiful and that I would look amazing in a particular position, and I will bend myself into a pretzel for you. Flattery will help any woman find the confidence she may be lacking; it’s that simple. Communication also allows my partner and I to address power issues which can be fun. The issue of power is not relevant in all relationships, however there are men and women who find power play an incredible turn on and like to engage in sexually dominating or passive positions during sex. While I may be cool in one position with a steady partner, a new partner doesn’t have a chance of succeeding. While there’s nothing wrong with taking the initiative, I like men to do so in the bedroom. Please remember that it takes two to tango and we both need to know the steps. Oh, and don’t go over board! Men watch way too much porn; the proof is in the position. Why is it that men want to change positions numerous times? They obviously don't realize how hard it is for most women to reach an orgasm, especially when being thrown around like a rag doll. If you want to mix it up guys, throw some oral sex in for flavor. I believe they still perform it in porn.

There is no doubt that positions play a roll in determining the pleasure ratio both physically and physiologically. I’m up to having fun and trying new things. Just remember, I come equipped not only with an erogenous zone but a comfort zone as well....written by Brooke Mullins



To my (straight) male friends reading: Isn't it cool to be having sex missionary with a woman and be able to whisper into her ear, "Wrap your legs around me," while you stand up, grab her ass and leave her suspended in the air? I find it fun, and as a bonus, if there is a mirror in front of me I can get a great view from behind of my partner. I get a huge ego boost knowing that I can support her and for an extended period of time. She gets added clitoral stimulation from the up and down motion of me lifting her. But the best part of this is the power and virility I feel, as a man, flaunting my strength in such a way. The thought process is something like, "If I can keep this stuff up, she'll continue to stay in ecstasy." Whether this actually happens or not, is beyond me.

From my personal confession above, we can see a lot about the necessity of positions. I think that positions are a great way to ease boredom, find new tastes and discover what you like and don't like. We can find positions that complement our individual personalities and show off our desirable traits (like looking at the well corded back muscles of your partner while doing it doggy style--you can never get that from missionary).

It's a double edge sword with this kind of thing. You have to try out new stuff to keep it fresh--imagine if we can periodically change our job, cars or family. On the flip, if something isn't broke, don't fix it (which is something all guys tend to do in every area of life). Sometimes I try weird stuff simply because I can. Plus, I think if I change it up a bit in bed, I might actually impress a woman and she'll want to have more sex.

All in all, I enjoy trying a plethora of positions. Part of it is because I can, and that I hope to impress the women I'm with. There's the stimulation from each, but I think experimenting becomes more fun than the pleasure derived from the actual outcome. It’s not necessarily the amount of positions you try, but the quality of the person you're having sex with....written by Peter Baker

sexual positions missionary sex missionary position woman on top karma sutra doggy style erogenous zone