Sex on the Copier Is Bad For Your Career

Sex is everywhere. You can’t walk down the street without being confronted by sex. It’s on every one of your three thousand cable TV channels. It’s in every magazine you read at the newsstands. And, yes, it’s even in the workplace. Sex has an omnipresent, unavoidable biological pull. And it doesn’t just disappear when you clock in for your nine to five. For most of us, we spend more time with the people we work with than with our own families. Take that constant closeness, add in the intensity of a high stress environment and voila! Instant office romance. It’s so exciting because no one knows you’re doing it. But is that really a good idea? The heart (or the penis; whichever one you let lead you) can be a fickle organ. These things rarely last longer than a season of the Office. One moment you’re sneaking in a quickie on top of the copier and the next moment you’re avoiding each other in the break room. And now you have to deal with it because you’ve broken one of the cardinal rules of sex. Never, ever, sleep where you eat.

If you happen to be sleeping with someone who is in a position to affect your career, there are no happy endings to this story. After the initial lust, you’re just a bad memory and end up transferred someplace where they don’t have to look at you anymore. Like that branch office in Tibet. The other scenario is that you’re now the office slut who will do it with anyone in a position to help her career. Perception is reality. If people start thinking that you’re sleeping your way to the top, it doesn’t really matter if you are or not. They might as well pin the scarlet letter to your cubicle. Gossip (especially the juicy kind) has a way following you for a long time. And that’s only if you don’t get fired for sexual harassment. Most people go to their jobs to get work done. Your flirting or come-ons can be distracting. There’s a thin line between harassment and flirting. The moment you make someone feel uncomfortable, you’ve crossed the line. Even well intentioned people have lost dream jobs, money and their good reputations over a stupid office fling.

Sleeping your way to the top is a great idea . . . if you work in the porn business. In the real world, you’re usually expected to hold a little restraint. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t dress nice or compliment your co workers. I’m not saying that you can’t make friends with them and get to know them personally. I’m just reminding you that hooker-wear and ass grabbing is generally frown upon in most workplaces. You’ll probably end up being the office joke or looking for another job. And if you happen to be one of the few that meet their soul mate in the next cubicle, here’s a little advice. If your employer doesn’t forbid office romances, give full disclosure to your boss. Just be as upfront and honest as you can, so that there’s no confusion or surprises later. And if this relationship is a “no-no”, like with a superior or employee, then be an adult about it. One of you should find a new gig before you’re forced to. And if finding a new job seems to be too much of a hassle, then this fling’s not worth it, is it?

Written by P.S. Jones

sex in the workplace office sex office romance coworker fling

How Skin Still Matters

Interracial dating is one of the most controversial issues facing true equal rights in American society. Most people in this country are okay with everyone receiving equal educational opportunities, work opportunities and essential civil rights. However, there seems to be a breakdown in equality when it comes to pairing with a partner.

When a black man and white woman pair up, both sides seem to be uncomfortable with the relationship. Take the hip-hop song "White Horse" that states "If you want to ride, don't ride no white horse." This is an obvious condemnation against Black men dating white women. Sadly, that's not the worst take on the issue. I've heard tragic things from pallid lips such as "white women who date Black men are really trashy." When I hear such ridiculous generalizations, my eyes begin to bleed. Literally, when people tell me their reasoning against interracial relationships, I tend to say something about my best friend being the product of an interracial marriage and he is the most awesome human being I have ever encountered.
Oddly enough, the more closely matched the skin tone, the more accepted the relationship. For example, a black man dating a latino woman will generally yield little controversy from society at large. This is also true of a white man dating an asian woman or latino woman. Seemingly, you can voyeur a couple of tones down on the scale, but not to any extreme.

There also seems to be a great deal of emphasis on personal choice in interracial relationships coupled with long-held and ridiculous dogmas. For example, a friend told me that she didn't mind asian women dating white men because "Asian men are such jerks." This indicates to me that [one] my friend feels that interracial relationships require her blessing and [two] that she feels that in the context of interracial relationships, people can "choose" to love someone or, at the very least, be attracted to someone. For those that are at least somewhat socially liberal, this is as ridiculous a concept as hearing the words 'choose' and 'gay' in the same sentence structure unless you're arguing against the thought of preference of sexuality.

I've also heard over the years that people would date someone outside of their race if they felt their family would not disapprove. You just can't choose who you love based on external factors. Love conquers all. If a man is gay, he dates men even if this means abandoning the principles on which he was raised. Why is this not true of dating in the context of race? If I fell in love with a black man, I would defend my relationship to everyone. Then again, I am notoriously defensive of my personal choices and social liberties and a chronic "mountaintop shouter" when I fall in love.

Personally, I really wish that people could realize there are so few differences between races. Women are women and men are men. From an evolutionary standpoint, it is beneficial to create children through interracial relationships because you are pulling from a bigger pool of genes, thus increasing the strength of the next generation. My mother is a wonderful woman and always searches for answers to facts instead of trying to cover up them up. She says that babies from interracial relationships will lead the next generation towards equality. Just look at Barack Obama - I don't think we can argue with results.

Written by Anna Z

interracial relationships race black men white women asian women latino men skin color race relations interracial marriage

Exhibitionist Sex - Daring To Be Seen

How strange is strange? How public is public? When it comes to having sex outside of the bedroom some people cannot have it strange or public enough. Public venues can often be intense and exciting places to enjoy spontaneous intercourse. Why is this so much fun, and how come it adds so much to some people's pleasure? Whether having sex in public is literally against the law or not, it is totally taboo. Adding the danger of being discovered and the excitement of doing the "forbidden" can add passion and intimacy into the encounter. It can often give a couple an experience they can share and relive time and time again.

Of course there are safer public places to fornicate in than others. Locking yourself in a public restroom and "doing the deed" is not nearly as adventurous as doing it behind a clothes rack at your local department store. Having sex sitting in the driver's seat in a dark, empty parking lot is not nearly as intense as going at it under a blanket on a plane filled to capacity, and loaded with scornful eyes of the highest morality. Actually, in this day and age, trying to join the mile high club with no more than a blanket blocking the view could probably get you thrown in jail. If you want to join the mile high club, head for the bathroom in the back of the plane. It's still a lot of fun, and will leave you blushing when you both exit and see all the passengers who were waiting in line for you to climax.

One of the most important things to be aware of when having sex in public is to make sure that even if you are discovered, there are no kids in the vicinity. That could result in legal repercussions way beyond the fun of the tryst.

If you don't think you are ready for a public display of affection, but would still like to venture outside the bedroom there are other great places around the house that can add to the excitement of being spotted. The swimming pool, jacuzzi, and those patio lounge chairs all make great lovemaking places with just a little danger of watchful eyes. Of course, that all depends on how high your neighbor’s hedges are. Inside the house, few things beat the living room couch, the dinner table, the kitchen sink, or the floor for a spontaneous fling. It's fun. It's different, and it can add to the passion and the fantasy.

The discomfort and fear of being discovered can often have very unexpected results. For some people it can heighten their arousal way beyond anything they ever experienced in the bedroom. If this happens to you or your partner…watch out...you will be on the road to some wildly exciting but flagrantly inappropriate public displays of affection. If the fear paralyzes you and makes it difficult for either you or your partner to become aroused or experience climax, try something a little less "exposed" next time.

Everyone has their own quirks and passions that can hit that hot button of passion. If having sex in a strange or public place does it for you, have fun, be careful, and don't be afraid to blush!

Written by Cliff Hodges

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The Gift of the Vagina

When I was kid, I spent a few summers at bible camp in Mississippi. The girls at camp often stayed up late after the counselors sent us to bed, chatting about all kinds of stuff. Sex was a frequent topic. One night another girl laid out the information her mother had given her about sex. Her mother had informed her that the vagina was God’s gift to girls and that their job was to guard it from all the boys. When a girl gets married, she then gives the “gift” to her husband as a wedding present. That night, I fell asleep imagining all the ways that I would guard my vagina until I got married.

Society teaches us to play our roles from a very young age. Men who chase women are studs; women who chase men are sluts. Women who are sensitive and caring are nurturers and men who do the same thing are sissies. Society tells us that women shouldn’t like sex but men are supposed to be getting it as much as possible. No wonder there’s a war between the sexes. Look at all the propaganda out there! Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. We buy into these stereotypes and feel confused when real life doesn’t follow the rules we think are written in stone. Every stereotype has a twinkle of truth to it, but that’s just it. A twinkle. I’ve met men who wanted to cuddle and take it slow. I’ve met women who didn’t. Do men really think about sex every nanosecond? I can’t say for sure but I’d probably put it at every ten minutes. But, then again, that’s about how much some of my girlfriends think about sex, too. Think that stuff you hear in the boys’ locker room is raunchy? You should eavesdrop on some of the girls’ night out conversations that me and my friends have.

I got married recently and I have to admit that there wasn’t much of a “vagina gift giving” ceremony. Now maybe that’s probably because he’d been getting that present for over two years already. Or maybe I realized a long time ago that my vagina isn’t the gift. The only gift I have to offer is my love and respect. The story I heard that warm Mississippi night was just a fairy tale woven out of stereotypes. In the real world, there are no evil villains who only think about trying to get in your pants. (Ok maybe there are. But that’s only if you go to the titty joint down on avenue. If you’re into that thing.) Whatever planet you’re from (Mars? Venus? Your Anus?) we’re all looking for the same things. You want to be with someone who makes you feel good, mentally and physically. Sex is important to any romantic relationship because it’s simply the physical manifestation of love or passion. I don’t care who you are, warm skin on warm skin feels good. Soft lips kissing your body feel good. And orgasms feel REALLY, REALLY good. Say what you will about the opposite sex. We need each other with few exceptions. Instead of looking at how different we each are, it’s time to try to see it from the other one’s perspective. The truth that is that men and women speak the same language; we just aren’t the best listeners. Maybe that’s the solution to the battle of the sexes. Let’s just start with that and see how it goes.

Written by P.S. Jones

vagina gender sexy private parts