Is There a Doctor In The House?

He kissed my bare bottom. His name was Kenny. He had brown hair and red freckles, carried a stethoscope and a brand new pack of Smurf Band-Aids. My first sexual encounter with role-play, I experienced at the tender age of nine. I've had quite a thing for doctors ever since.

I believe that we all have our first sexual awakening through the guise of role-playing when we are just young kids. As we grow up, we become more sexual and less imaginative, although some of us do manage to keep both as equal bedfellows. For instance, I’ve always secretly thought that trekkies and people into science fiction, war games, video games, fantasy and pretty much anything else considered “nerdy”, must be very hard to keep up with in the bedroom. Just imagine the scenarios, story lines and characters they must come up with! There are also people who are just plain kinky and weird when it comes to role-play. We all know someone who has had a partner ask them to do some pretty weird stuff during sex. Or at least we say it is someone else when we tell the story because we don’t want anyone to know that it actually happened to us. I have a friend who once dated a guy who was into wearing women's panty hose. Apparently he would tear a hole in the crotch, put on a pair of heels and… that’s just around the spot where the story ends because I wasn’t about to let her tell me any more.

Obviously what floats some boats doesn't do it for all folks. While I consider myself a very imaginative person, I can't say I've partaken in a great deal of role-play, nothing out of the ordinary anyway. I do however, keep all my Halloween costumes, just in case I need them in the future, for some unforeseen reason. Role-playing can be both fun and healthy. I believe that men and women have an equal footing regarding role-play. While we may have a lot of different sexual preferences, I think that both sexes generally share the same sexual fantasies, excluding of course, the one that has you, your gal and her best friend rolling around in a vat of yellow Jello. Sorry guys, this one is yours alone. Both sexes however, equally want to either dominate or be dominated during sex, which is really what role-playing is all about isn’t it? Now, go get on your spandex Tarzan costume and I’ll try to find my grass skirt, lei and coconuts. You'll just have to figure out what game it is that I prefer to play….written by Brooke Mullins



As I lay on the bed in a Cowardly Lion costume with my tamer standing above me, I soon realized that this was probably not the vision that L. Frank Baum had when he wrote the Wizard of Oz. In fact, this probably would have been interesting if we hadn’t been laughing like Hyenas at the silliness we had created.

I’ve always found that role playing is a tremendous waste of effort and honestly, not very fun. If I’m going to put that much time into doing something, I prefer to inject some romance into my relationship. I’ll make a nice dinner while mixing in some candles and massages. Role playing is a very delicate operation. It requires planning – which by its very nature I find unromantic. Then it requires participation, which is always a tricky issue considering where we may find ourselves mentally and emotionally at any given time. When the perfect storm comes together – sure it can be a fleeting thrill – but all the effort is rarely matched with the intensity and intimacy that is craved for in a satisfying romantic evening.

It can be enjoyable and exciting to step outside yourself sometimes and play out some control and power fantasies through role playing. I’ve just always found it to be more satisfying to simply communicate effectively and leave the costumes in the closet.

So what makes us want to fulfill our partners’ desire to not be ourselves for the evening? I think it’s just another example of trying to please each other while not looking at what we need ourselves. As hard as you might try, you can’t be someone else. It has nothing to do with creativity. In fact, given all the effort and planning - it’s not creative at all. You want role playing?? Try playing the girl we fell for in the first place. We are with you for a reason and it’s not so you can play a lion and make us tame you. That’s just silly and completely unnecessary. When I am feeling romantic and wanting to have hot, passionate sex – I don’t want to have to remember my lines or need cue cards.

Now, I do realize the joy that can come from role playing and it has been a fun, yet fleeting thrill for me before – but when it’s all said and done, it’s the same girl I end up in bed with no matter how we got there. So put away the mailwoman costume and the leash because this dog isn’t biting... written by Andrew Jensen

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Nothing But a Big Faker

I don’t know if you know this, but there is a rumor going around that some men fake orgasms. Crazy isn’t it! Why would a guy need to this? If he’s not into “doing it”, I think it's pretty self-explanatory. Boy, don’t even bother looking at me with love in your eyes and no bulge in your pants. Still, there are guys who claim that they have indeed faked it, which if you think about it, might actually be a brilliant trick. If you told me that I didn’t make you come, I’m bloody well going to make it my mission to do so. Of course, first you’d have to help me up off the ground, where I will have collapsed in a heap of hysterical laughter. Guys faking it, what will they think of next!

Now on the other hand, we all know that women fake it. Every woman that I know can recall a handful of times when she has put forth more effort into the act of pretending that she was enjoying herself then actually trying to enjoy herself. Although the reasons may differ, like “I was tired”, “He was taking too long”, or “I was afraid I was going to miss CSI”, each woman was politely saying that her guy wasn’t performing well. While I myself have had lots of opportunities to fake, I’ve honestly never done so, simply because I’m not that nice of a girl. Seriously, be thankful that your girl does fake it. Would you really want to know the truth? When I said a handful of times, I meant a handful of times with each partner.

Every woman has been there, wanting the act to just be over so that she could get on with whatever it was that was preoccupying her attention at the time. Fatigue, hunger, stress, resentment and pain are all common things that can bump an orgasm off of one’s priority list and make a girl want to abandon her body if it will get her out of there. I have found myself in one or more of these situations. Sure, I could have “oh, oh, oh”’d my way out from between the sheets. But while I have wanted a partner to bloody well hurry up, I encourage it in a different way, by using sexual words like, "I want you to come for me now baby." Yes fellas, this is why we ladies say this. It’s not because your coming is such a turn on to us, but rather because you are taking forever and we want you to get off of us A.S.A.P. If this technique doesn’t work, there’s always the line "If you don’t come now, you’re not coming at all", (just kidding)…(okay I’m not kidding). Whatever way you say it, personally, I'd rather go the verbal route than attempting my best Meg Ryan impersonation.

The real reason I’m no faker is that I am comfortable with not always having an orgasm during sex. Honest! I'm totally fine with it because I know that a lot of it has to do with my mental mindset and some days I have not the physical nor mental energy to invest in an orgasm. Some days I’m certain that I don’t even have a pulse! It’s not necessarily my partner’s fault and it doesn’t mean I’m not still having a great time. Just remember, to keep a partner’s pride intact faking it may be the answer, but if we all spoke up a little more, there would be a whole lot less pretending....written by Brooke Mullins



The deep breathing, the squealing, the panting. Her vice pulls me in, her grip relentless, her legs shake and quake. Her body pulses. Her eyes roll to the back of her head. She screams in ecstasy. She calls out my name and throws pillows halfway across the room. Her whole body tenses up, then blows a gasket, then deflates to putty. As I collapse next to her, my fragile mental state leads me to ask the question many men before me have asked in their own mind. Namely, “How could Eckersley throw a backdoor slider with a 3-2 count to a badly hobbled Kirk Gibson in the ninth inning of the ’88 World Series?”

Truth be told, that’s the extent of how much I think about whether my most recent lover has faked an orgasm. It’s not that I don’t care whether I rocked her world, or moved mountains – it’s just that I’ve always been a firm believer that the orgasm is not the pinnacle of sexual pleasure.

We all want to please each other and have that feeling like we were the first and only to make our partners lose their minds. And I’m sure lots of guys have had that moment when they wondered whether “she faked it, or not?” It makes sense. But, I don’t worry about these things. It’s not a concern for me. I’m not saying it hasn’t happened to me. It probably has. And sometimes when my rhythm picks up, I observe a look that tells me there’s a traffic jam ahead. This is when I’ve always chosen to focus on shifting gears and working my way round traffic rather than plowing through it. Sometimes finding that alternative route to get around the traffic turns out to be the best achievement of all. Focusing on the pleasure and not the finish line is the easiest way to please any woman I’ve been with.

With that said, there are still plenty of folks who rack their brains trying to understand if and when a partner has faked an orgasm. I have more important things on my mind, like “Why didn’t he just throw an off-speed pitch and get him to chase ball four out of the zone."....written by Andrew Jensen

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Talk Dirty To Me!

My number rule when it comes to my sex life is that you cannot repeat what I say to you while we are screwing. I don’t care if you tell your friends where we did it or what position we were in. But you are never to mention the actual words that left my mouth to anyone . . . including me. The reason behind this rule is that I have a very dirty mouth. And once we get going there are things that I might ask you to do to me that can get me arrested in several states.

Dirty talk is essential to sex with me. There is no way that two people can have a good ole sweaty raunchy time in complete silence. (Unless you’re deaf and/or mute. I guess signing dirty talk is a little too much to ask. Your hands are busy enough.) Maybe it’s because having lived with men for most of my life, I’ve realized that’s the only time I can get you to actually listen to me. (Oh ride me . . . that feels so good . . . don’t forget to pick up the dry cleaning . . . harder . . . and your mother’s birthday is Friday . . .faster . . . the car needs a tune-up . . . oh yeah!!)

During sex is when we can talk about our deepest fantasies without being embarrassed or shy. What you will and won’t take is as personal as what turns you on. For me, anything that starts with “Pretend you’re my mommy” is a definite deal-breaker. Other than that, let’s see where the night takes us. But please remember that what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. The way I respond to someone calling me a “dirty slut” if I were naked has nothing to do with what I might say if it happened in the grocery store. And I’ve been kicked out of a lot of grocery stores....written by P.S. Jones



Vocal sex... loud, filthy, dirty vocal sex!!! Does that make you hotter? Can it make your climax more intense? The answer is yes and no... Sometimes hot, dirty talk during fornication can put my mind into a whirl and intensify my orgasm beyond my wildest expectations... but what if she says the wrong thing? Can she take you out of your game in mid-thrust? And what about us guys? Your women may say she likes dirty talk; so you pour it on with all the seedy, smarmy, filthy sex talk you can muster... suddenly she stops... you scared her right out of the mood!!!!!!! It's a disaster! I have lived through both of these scenarios.

I really love it when a woman knows my hot buttons and delivers the vocals to intensify the physical stimulation. This is not something that happens spontaneously on a one-night wonder... unless you are very lucky. The rule of thumb is to "Know Your Subject!" Don't surprise polly purebred with a slew of expletives that make her hair curl and turn her frigid.

I remember once I had finally got this woman I was hot for to go to bed, and everything was great. The usual sounds of ooohs! aaahs! In the midst of thrusting her to a climax, she gets into the "exorcist" mode and begins to scream, "That's it, Fuck Mommy! Give it to Mommy!... It got worse from there. I shrunk so fast I almost lost the condom in the throes of her climax. Somehow, the thought of my mother anywhere in the same zip code as me having sex took me right out of the game.

Talking dirty is a perilous double edged sword... If you say the right things, it can ramp up the heat and intensify the orgasms. If you say the wrong thing, it can bring the entire crescendo down to a crashing halt. I love it when the right words are said... The important thing is to know who you are talking dirty to. If you aren't sure that talking dirty gets her hot, I would restrict it to the standard. If you know that a vocal stroll through the sewer will turn her on... have at it, and deliver so much filth that you have to wash your mouth out with soap when you are done....written by Cliff Hodges

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